5/17/2008

Resurrected

perfect combination

I know, I've been away from mah blog for a long time now. I simply don't feel like postin a lot of information about what's happenin wit mah life now cuz I don't want it to be as complicated as before. How surprisin life can be. Things were in order, you try to put it in what you thought was right, then it becomes chaotic. Right now, I can say everything is doin well, except for the hurdles I am facin wit mah new job. Adjustin to bein the only gaijin in our team, findin an apartment and worryin bout mah folks back home.

I guess I've been here before. Deja vu as what others would like to call it. The only difference is that, I'm much stronger and wiser. Does that include bein wiser with the matters of the heart? Yup, prolly. I'm givin that fairytale another chance.

I'm happy wit how things are goin wit me and mah new boyfriend. I used to say that I wouldn't date a foreigner. I've tried talkin wit some of em before and I don't see any common interests. Sometimes I also find it too shallow to talk bout stuffs that won't really matter. Just for the heck of havin a conversation. Wit Josh, I could be me. I could be clumsy, unsexy and unpretty in front of him but he still thinks I am beautiful. He would say that like over 3x in a day without soundin like it's only "bola" as we call it in Tagalog. Normally, guys would put their best foot forward to impress girls. All throughout the times I've been wit him, he's been himself. I know that his #1 priority is to get some rest and I come as second lol.

I used to think relationships are all bout your partner...but it has to be also bout yourself. I really like the way we agree on how to handle things and not argue bout each others' opinions. I like the way we could just sleep and cuddle, watch wrestlemania or a goofy movie...talk bout our family and culture...I love the way we are.

Japan is such a lonely place for lonely people. When I'm with him, it feels like home. How I wish it could be like this forever.

infinitetrial at 10:33:00 AM

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3/09/2008

The Wedding is OFF!

No need to expound...

infinitetrial at 3:46:00 PM

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12/30/2007

Headlines for 2008

As usual, your royal highness

WAS

so busy wit her work, busy wit her problems and has been dealin lately wit more

HUGE

problems. I had to put

WAS

and

HUGE

in caps cuz I just recently quit mah job and that led to HUGE problems.

Anyhoo...let's deal with the headlines first and maybe next year or later, I'm gonna tell you bout the resignation brouhaha (that's a day away from now hehe).

Headline #1

Gettin hitched. When? Not yet decided.

Headline #2

Me gettin a new job. Where? I won't tell you yet but it will sure make em nervous. Who? Secret.

Headline #3

I'll be kickin asses. Who? Let's just say even if I win or lose this game, I will defend myself to the end.

Hopefully, mah plans will still run smoothly even if there are so many hindrances along the way. I really cannot tell yet if I made the right decision or not...but I am more inclined to say yes. Why? Cuz I am pissed. So pissed. I have never been treated like a criminal in mah life and what I've been through these last few weeks is not a nice joke. I am so pissed wit the fact that despite all you have done you never get a thank you even if it's written in a post-it. Instead, they expect you to be grateful despite of their treatment. That is so evil. Even call me selfish. Threaten me. Harass me wit a phone call. Force me to do things I don't wanna do. Worse, they expect me to pay every penny they paid me when they have already earned almost thrice or four times the amount I'm bein paid. That's

S-L-A-V-E-R-Y

at its finest. Headline for 2008

infinitetrial at 11:57:00 PM

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11/13/2007

A Year and a Half

I am so happy that right now, even if I am facin some problems bout mah work...I still have mah relationship goin despite the distance. We've been through a lot...and same time last year, we faced a crossroad I have never thought would have happened.

Honestly, I almost forgot bout this day. He called me this morning but didn't occur to me it's been 18 months. I've been waitin for it since the first of November but I think that's what your brain does when you wanna forget a not so pleasant experience.

I know he's been sayin that I have to move on. I have already moved on, only that...the memories of pain are that hard to ignore. There are times that I just laugh bout how silly I was, cryin, spendin mah money on phone bills, and checkin on him 24/7. I am so glad that I made that risk, that final straw.

I dunno what would have happened if not for that. I could be here still hopin for someone to love me. I could be here wit a broken heart...or could I be in someone else's arms? One things certain though, I still love him so much.

infinitetrial at 10:07:00 PM

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9/22/2007

Communication, Empathy and Listenin

These days, most people have their conversations over the phone, e-mail , chat and SMS/MMS. For me, who's in a "remote" (formerly virtual hehe) relationship, it's hard to communicate especially when you can't see the emotions of the other person you're talkin wit. Often times, mah bf says that I don't have to be angry at him, when in fact...I was calm when I said those words. So when we talked in person, he told me that he understood mah points unlike when he's just reading it.

But apart from decipherin your partner's emotion, two big problems of communication are empathizin and listenin. Example: Mom yells at me. I yell back. We don't listen to each other, we just wanna say what we have to say. We end up both mad at each other and we haven't really put our message across. It also happens in relationships, friends, at work, strangers...everywhere. It feels frustratin talkin to people who are not really listenin to what you've said. They repeat what you've just said. They cut you out. Their minds are closed...and worst, they can't even pretend to empathize!

What I've learned from mah previous job...if you can't do anythin bout it, you just have to empathize and make a bad news sound like a good news. I dunno wit some people. They don't really think first before they open their mouths. Result: tactless statement. Sure, there are times you need to skip the sugarcoatin...but if you wanna earn a nod, start feignin that you care.

Aight, nuff of the talk now. I'd be only wastin mah energy on such nonsense. If there's one thing I want right now, is to get out of this shitty plastic world, full of kiss asses, chickens and double-faced people. But I need to hang in there for a moment. I can do this. If I dunnit before...I can do it again.

infinitetrial at 11:17:00 PM

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5/08/2007

Bitchin Full Throttle :P

One thing I've noticed bout guys, they don't bitch like girls do. Or maybe they do it subtly. Cuz girls can say nasty things behind each other's back. They laugh their hearts out when talkin bout the person they hate the most. Do we do it to validate ourselves? Or are we just plainly usin it for entertainment?

As far as I know, mah mom is also such a laitera. Mah aunts, mah cousin, mah friends in college, mah friends in high school, mah chat friends, and all the girls I've met so far. Did I become a laitera cuz of em? Or is it cuz I've been watchin too much showbiz shitznitz hehe.

Just a thought for the day. I'm really exhausted.

infinitetrial at 9:11:00 PM

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4/10/2007

Her Highness, the Witch and the Work Load

Yeah...I've been on hiatus cuz of work! I got a shitload of em. Not that I'm complainin...but sometimes all I wanna think bout is Neverland. For the past few months, I've been worry-free. All I want is to chillax so I could savor that moment. I'll give you some updates though...

Update #1:

I am 25! We had a bbq picnic by the river. I celebrated mah birthday with JB, mah officemate and batchmate. He was so tensed the mornin we were preparin for the food. I think we ate 4 kilos of chicken and 2 kilos of pork hahaha. It was fun and quite extraordinary for the usual hangout, which is karaoke. Can't believe that I just had mah silver birthday hehe.

Update #2:

Mah homecomin has been approved! Yey! 1 month and 3 days in PI! Hope I could meet new acquaintances, old friends, go out wit mah family and friends...and most especially spend time wit mah bf! Weee!!! Finally...I'm keepin mah fingers crossed that this would push through.

Update #3:

The witch is back. After callin it quits 3 months ago and after all her assumptions...she's back and she wants peace of mind?! She must be really goin nuts huh to ask me for peace of mind. Sorry, she can't get a piece of that peace. The gall to demand peace of shit when she can't even apologize herself.

Update #4:

We're turnin a year old on May 13!!!

I

heart

you Bibi.

infinitetrial at 9:12:00 PM

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